If You Only Knew
by Kiki Writes
Summary: COMPLETE! Life isn't always simple or full of easy answers. Wyatt is torn between wanting to move forward and remaining in the past. However, can he learn to trust and even love again? Missing scene(s) from 1x 02, The Assassination of Abraham Lincoln.
1. Chapter 1

**If You Only Knew- Post 1 x 02- The Assassination of Abraham Lincoln.**

"Who should we call to pick you up?"

"I'll call a cab." Wyatt replied to the doctor as she started to gather supplies to stitch the bullet hole in his hip.

"Okay then, let's get you stitched up and then get you home."

Wyatt laid very still on the exam table and counted the ceiling tiles as the doctor pulled a small dark thread through his skin with a needle. _"I'll call a cab?"_ Did that sound as pathetic to the outside word as it did in his own head? Today's little altercation with Lucy around Abe Lincoln's death was yet another reminder of his loss. He refused to buy in that his beautiful wife's death was "meant to be." Placing his arm over his eyes, he silently whispered, "I miss you Jess" and closed his eyes, as the exhaustion pulled him under into a restless dream.

"Wyatt do you remember the day we danced in the rain?"

"How could I forget?" Wyatt reminisced while he ran his hands through Jess' long blond hair as she lay across his chest. "We were celebrating our first anniversary at the beautiful bed and breakfast near my hometown in Texas. I remember it rained almost every afternoon."

"Go on…" Jess snuggled in closer taking in the scent of his aftershave.

"During one of those brief summer showers, you took my hand and asked me to dance with you. You never looked more beautiful as the rain fell softly and slowly over your sundress and into your hair. It's a moment, I will never forget." Wyatt leaned in for a kiss. "I am a lucky man."

"Alright, Master Sergeant we are done here. You can sit up now."

Wyatt was trapped in his dream, subconsciously unable or unwilling to move. "Sir, can you hear me?" The doctor continued as she shook his shoulder gently. "Wyatt! wake up."

Immediately Wyatt's eyes sprang open as he tried to catch his breathe taking in the strange surroundings around him. Lifting his head awkwardly, he spoke in a raspy voice, "Ma'am?"

The doctor offered a hand out to Wyatt to help him sit up. "That must have been some dream you were having, you were out cold."

Wyatt briefly smiled as despair began to creep back in. "It was."

"Well, I hope it was a good one." The doctor replied as she snapped off her rubber gloves and threw them into the trash, following up with a drop of hand sanitizer. "You are all stitched up and ready to go. How do you feel?"

"Tired."

"I'd be concerned if you weren't. Take it easy and try to get some rest tonight. I'll be right back with antibiotics and some pain medication to help you sleep."

"Thank you," Wyatt said as the doctor exited the room, leaving the door slightly open to the hallway behind her. Gingerly, he started to ease himself off the exam table, wincing in pain at his best effort. "This sucks."

"Knock, knock, wardrobe department." Wyatt heard a soft voice say from behind him. He recognized the voice immediately as Lucy's without even turning around to look. She was standing in the doorway with a white button down shirt folded across her forearm. "I thought you might need something to wear home, it's compliments of Mason Enterprises." Lucy scrutinized the garment, before handing it to Wyatt. "It's probably expensive."

"Thanks," he said, his voice thick with fatigue and pain.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I was carved like a turkey."

"Did the doctor give you anything for the pain?"

"No, not yet, she's coming back with pain meds and antibiotics."

"Right, antibiotics are important. You don't want to die of..."

"Sepsis." They both said simultaneously, eliciting a much needed ice breaker.

"Ouch, don't make me laugh." Wyatt coughed softly as he held his side, "I don't want to bust a stitch and be stuck here any longer. I'm ready to go home."

"Sorry." Lucy said awkwardly, her cheeks slightly flushed with embarrassment. "Is there anything I can do to help?

"Can you help me with this shirt?"

"Sure." Lucy said as she moved closer towards him as he sat on the edge of the exam table. He looked wrecked, as if he hadn't slept for months. His hair was sticking out in odd places and the stubble on his face was thicker than usual. "Are you sure you are alright?"

"Yes Lucy, I'm fine." Wyatt said as stoic as ever, pressing at the large bandage covering his side as he spoke. "That's going to leave a scar." Wyatt whispered to himself, appearing more concerned with his wound than with Lucy herself.

"Well that's good then. I guess I'll see you on the next mission." Lucy said, her tone defeated, as she turned for the door. Wyatt just followed her with his eyes, as a sense of loss washed over him as the distance between them grew.

Wyatt wanted to say, ' _don't go!'_ , but somehow, he just couldn't find the words. However, the feeling was temporary as she walked back towards him. "You don't look like your in any shape to drive, can I give you a ride home?"

"That's okay, I'm going to call a cab."

Their conversation was interrupted by a soft cough in the doorway. "Sir, you should really take the ride. You will appreciate getting home more sooner than later after these." Wyatt was sure he gasped at the sight of the two very large syringes in each of the doctors hands. "Miss Preston, you may want to step out of the room for this. I hear you may faint."

Lucy nodded as she headed towards the doorway. 'I'll go get my keys." The last words she heard before the exam room door shut was, "Master Sergeant, drop your pants." Lucy just shuddered as she walked towards her locker.

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

**If You Only Knew- Chapter 2**

 **Authors Notes: Thank you so much to everyone who has** **followed, favorited, reviewed and read this story. I hope you enjoy the next chapter. ~Kiki**

Arriving back at the lockers, Lucy opened the door and was very surprised to see Rufus standing there changing into his civilian clothes. His Civil War costume in a heap on the changing bench.

"I'm sorry Rufus," Lucy's face flushed immediately. "I can come back later."

"I'm almost done here. How's Wyatt?"

"He is very tired and looks worked over. He has a few stitches in his side, and multiple cuts and bruises but will make a full recovery. The doctor was giving him a shot of antibiotics and pain medication when I left him." Lucy explained while she riffled through her locker. "Have you seen him since we've been back?"

"No, I went to Mason's office after the debriefing with Agent Christopher." Rufus almost growled as he spoke. "I had to clear the air about a few things."

"Is everything ok?"

"It will be," Rufus paused briefly. "At least, that's my hope."

"What's your hope?" Wyatt asked, interrupting Lucy and Rufus' conversation as he came through the locker room door. "That I will be successful at killing Flynn and we can all get on with our lives."

Rufus looked hurt, "No Wyatt, that is not what I was saying."

"Are you sure?" Wyatt questioned further, the fatigue draining the color out of his face. "There's been a lot of chatter in the hallway. I even saw Agent Christopher and Mason arguing through the glass window in his office. When they saw me, Mason just pointed and started yelling at her again. I could have sworn I heard the word failure. That's just great."

"Of course your not a failure, your a decorated officer in an impossible situation." Lucy tried to explain. "No one understands this better than the two of us. Listen Wyatt, I miss my sister just like you miss your wife, and I would do anything to bring her back, so trust me when I say I understand."

"Trust is earned, not given Ma'am." Wyatt said without any emotion.

"How regimented of you to say, Master Sergeant!" Realizing her tone was not helpful at this moment, Lucy took a deep breath, regrouped and spoke a little softer. "Wyatt, I get that you are under a lot of pressure and your stress level is bordering on critical, but you need to get some rest. Please let me take you home."

"What I need is a shower." With those words, Wyatt was gone.

Lucy couldn't believe how frustrating Wyatt could be and even threw her hands in the air. "I don't get it."

"So, I'm guessing now isn't a good time to ask him what it feels like to have a six inch needle in the ass?" Rufus said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Probably not." After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Lucy looked at Rufus with tears in her eyes, exhaustion getting the better of her. "Rufus, do you think we are doing the right thing?"

Rufus looked a bit confused. "The right thing? I don't follow."

"The whole time travel mission?" Trying hard not to show weakness, Lucy wiped a falling tear quickly. "This has brought us nothing but pain and loss and we are just getting started."

"It's hard to tell right now, but if we find Flynn, eliminate him and save the past, then lets call it a win. But we have to try first." Rufus smiled awkwardly, "Agreed?"

"Agreed."

"What about GI Joe in there?" Rufus asked pointing to the door of the mens bathroom. "Would you like any help getting him home?"

"No, I think we will be okay. Hopefully, the hot shower will put him in a better mood. If not, it could be a long ride home."

"Okay, call if you need me." Rufus, looking back at Lucy, said as he opened the door to exit into the hallway. "You know that you are not alone in this. Right?"

"I know. That's what keeps me coming back." Lucy smiled. "Thanks Rufus and good night."

"Good night Lucy." Rufus said as the door closed behind him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Wyatt stood in front of the bathroom mirror and leaned on the sink. "You look like shit," he said to the reflection he didn't recognize as his own. He started to run his hands across his too thick stubble and then rubbed his eyes, the motion pulling at his fresh stitches. Curious to see his freshly stitched wound, Wyatt carefully unbuttoned his shirt slowly as the pain medication was finally starting to do it's job.

One, two, three…buttons, his fingers starting to tingle. Four, five, six...buttons, he was losing dexterity in his hands, but managed to free his body of the shirt without much pain. He tried to make sense of the unusual feeling, and held on tighter to the sink to keep himself from falling face first onto the floor. "What did they give me?"

Wyatt tried to fight through the haze by splashing cold water on his face and into the bowl below. However, when he looked back up at his reflection, the image of Jess was standing behind him. He should of been startled, but strangely he wasn't and even felt a strange calmness wash over him. Jess looked so beautiful, with her long blond hair flowing over her shoulders in cascades. He wanted to reach out to her and tried to speak, but his mouth wouldn't move as her hands wrapped around his waist in a tight embrace. "Shh," the voice whispered in his ear.

Wyatt knew this was impossible as Jessica was gone, but the scent of her perfume and the smell of her shampoo hanging in the air caused him to doubt his sanity. This had to be some sort of Mason Industries mind game brought on by the industrial sized syringe filled with god knows what. He wasn't going to give in to this imposter or was he? The soldier in him would never surrender, but the husband, lover and best friend was ready to throw in the towel.

The sweet torture continued as Wyatt felt ' _Jess'_ snuggle into his bare back. Shivers moved through his body like electricity as she placed soft, slow kisses up and down his spine. The touch of her hands on his body was all too familiar which made the experience all too real. Wyatt fought to get the words out, "Am I dying?"

"Shh," The voice whispered again into his ear as her hands were unrelenting. Wyatt could see her fingers gliding effortlessly up and down the front of his chest, exploring from top to bottom in the reflection from the mirror. This was a Jess signature move and it brought Wyatt to the edge every time. For the first time in a long time, he felt peace and pleasure. Never wanting to loose this moment, he closed his eyes and leaned into her embrace.

"You are weak and you will fail your team, Master Sergeant Wyatt Logan." Wyatt's eyes flew open at the sound of the heavy accent. The reflection in the mirror was no longer the beautiful face of Jess, but the criminal, Garcia Flynn. His dark brown eyes reaching into Wyatt's soul as he continued to speak. "I know your deepest fears. You will lose everyone…again."

To be continued.


	3. Chapter 3

**If you only Knew- Chapter 3**

Lucy wasn't sure how much time had passed as she waited for Wyatt. Today had been a very long day and getting home for some much needed rest was a top priority. Unfortunately, Lucy knew there wouldn't be much rest until the mounting pile of papers that needed to be graded were finished. Running her fingers through her long brown hair, she sighed and shut her eyes as she began to drift off.

Not far from where Lucy was waiting, Wyatt stood in front of the bathroom mirror in a drug induced state. "You are weak and you will fail your team, Master Sergeant Wyatt Logan." Wyatt's eyes flew open at the sound of the heavy accent. The reflection in the mirror was no longer the beautiful face of Jess, but the criminal, Garcia Flynn. His dark brown eyes reaching into Wyatt's soul as he continued to speak. "I know your deepest fears. You will lose everyone…again." Wyatt couldn't hold on any longer and collapsed to the floor.

Lucy wasn't sure if she was dreaming or what was happening when she woke abruptly from a loud crashing sound that came from the bathroom. Trying to gather her thoughts quickly, she approached the door with trepidation. Knocking lightly, she asked,"Wyatt, are you okay?" There was no answer, so Lucy tried again, knocking louder this time. "Wyatt, it's me Lucy, can I come in?" The only sound she could hear was her own heartbeat.

Lucy paced for a few seconds, chewing on her thumb, debating on what to do. Her relationship with Wyatt was complicated and they were just beginning to get to know each other. But after months of taking care of her sick mother, Lucy's experience or intuition, told her that something was very wrong.

Taking a deep breath, Lucy pushed the door open slightly, this time speaking louder. "Wyatt...it's Lucy, is everything okay?" There was still no response from him, but she could hear water running. Following her instincts, Lucy pushed the door open wider and stepped inside. She could hear the sound of the running water drawing closer with every step.

"Wyatt?" Lucy called again, as she glanced around the corner. To her surprise & horror, Wyatt was lying face up on the tile floor. Looking around, Lucy assessed the situation for any signs of what had happened. Other than the water running and the white shirt on the floor, there was no indication of any struggle. Lucy knew Wyatt was extremely tired and on medication, so if he fell, he could have fallen hard.

Lucy knelt down at his side and debated on whether or not to call 911. "Wyatt, Wyatt," Lucy shouted as she shook his bare shoulder. "Can you hear me?" There was still no response, but his shoulder was ice cold and his lips were blue. Remembering her first-aid-training, Lucy checked Wyatt's pulse, tilted his head back and lifted his chin, checking for any indication that he was breathing. From what she could see, Wyatt's chest was not rising or falling with any movement.

Pinching his nose, she placed her mouth over his and breathed into it twice. Crossing her fingers, she checked his pulse and then repeated the cycle again. "Come on Wyatt, don't give up now."

Wyatt wasn't sure what was happening or why he felt like he was drowning. Trying to gasp for any small fraction of air, he desperately began to fight his way to the surface, but with no success. He started to panic when his efforts failed further, sinking deeper into the unknown. Just as he was about to surrender, Wyatt heard Lucy's voice through the haze. "Come on Wyatt, don't give up now!"

Wyatt was confused and unsure of his surroundings, but once the thick haze cleared from his mind, Wyatt could see Rufus and Lucy. They were in the lifeboat waving to him to join them. Lucy even reached out over the edge of the time machine to offer her hand out to him like a lifeline. Wyatt started to sprint towards the lifeboat as the gap between he and his new team mates closed. Wyatt felt a sense of relief when he took Lucy's hand and heard "I've got you."

Lucy was ready to begin her third set of rescue breaths, when Wyatt woke up abruptly choking and gasping for air like a fish out of water. Lucy gently rolled him onto his uninjured side to avoid any choking. "Just rest for a minute," she instructed, trying to catch her own breath. After a few minutes, Wyatt's breathing calmed enough for Lucy to finally ask, "Are you alright?"

Wyatt started to push himself off the cold tile floor to sit up. He tried desperately to remember what had happened. Abe Lincoln, gun shot wound, giant syringe and finally Flynn.

"Lucy?" Wyatt asked, the sound of his voice hoarse and dry, rasped out roughly, "Where's Flynn?

"Flynn?" Lucy tried to help Wyatt up & into a seated position, her face filled with concern. "Wyatt, Flynn was never here."

"What do you mean he wasn't here?" Wyatt's voice now sounded urgent and agitated. "He has to be, I saw him."

"Wyatt, I was outside the door the whole time, no one was in here." Lucy started to plead. "I wouldn't lie to you, whether you choose to trust that or not."

"I do believe you, it just that it felt so real. I must have been hallucinating. Do you have any idea what they gave me?"

Lucy shook her head. "I have no idea, but there can be multiple side effects. When my mom was sick, she was given pain medication and told to get plenty of rest, no driving, etc...you get it. One time she told Amy and me that she saw flying monkeys." Lucy tried to laugh in spite of the cruel irony that her sister was gone.

Wyatt reached out for Lucy's arm when she mentioned her sister Amy. "I didn't mean to be so rude to you earlier. I know your sister means a lot to you. You didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of my outburst and for that, I apologize." Wyatt started to get up off the floor and put his shirt back on, glancing into the mirror as if he was talking to his reflection. "I just want Flynn so badly, he's all that I think about anymore. I can't fail Lucy, that son of a bitch needs to go down."

Lucy got up and walked up next to Wyatt, shutting off the water without saying a word. As she stood there quietly, Lucy took the opportunity to study him. His eyes were very intense and focused, but sad around the edges. She decided to take a chance and slip her hand into his. Lucy breathed a little easier, when Wyatt didn't pull away and even responded by closing his fingers around hers in solidarity. Finally breaking the silence, Lucy spoke first, "We will get him Wyatt, on that you can trust. Now please let me take you home."

To be continued...

 **A/N: Thank you for the follows, favorites and reviews. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

**If You Only Knew- Chapter 4**

Lucy felt the rumbling of her phone for what had to be about the sixth time in the past half hour. She sighed knowing it could only be her mother, texting the same question that she had asked five times previously. Taking her phone out to check the message, Lucy was not surprised to see in all capitals, WHEN R U COMING HOME? Lucy was frustrated and turned the phone off so she could think without interruption. Ever since she arrived home from the Hindenburg mission, her personal life had changed in ways she could never have imagined. If she was truly honest with herself, she wasn't sure how she was going to manage any of these changes. Lucy was angry, frustrated and unsure of her future.

Wyatt was walking towards Lucy when he saw her throw her phone angrily into her handbag. She looked upset and even began to pace nervously. Wyatt could only imagine what might have happened. He and Lucy had only recently met, but he already felt a strong desire to protect her and keep her safe. He hadn't felt this way about another woman since Jess. He had failed Jess, but he would not fail Lucy.

"Wyatt?" Lucy's voice cut through his negativity like a beacon of light. "Hey, there you are, how are you feeling?"

"I've been worse; I just want to go home."

Lucy wasn't sure that she would agree with Wyatt on being worse since he looked very rough right now. He was barely standing upright and his skin was slightly pale with a thin sheen of sweat. His breathing was a little labored too "Here, let me help you," Lucy offered, reaching out to take Wyatt's back pack off, and throwing it over her shoulder. The motion of Lucy taking the back pack off was quicker and rougher than Wyatt anticipated, causing a slight sway in his stance. Lucy reacted quickly to keep him from falling face first by securing one hand around his waist for support and leaning her hip into his injured side.

"Ow,ow, ow" he hissed as his back stiffened. "Please don't touch my side."

"I'm so sorry, Wyatt. I'm sure that really hurts."

"You think?" Wyatt snapped, hunching over and breathing heavily as he tried to speak clearly. "Remind me to have Rufus take some kind of field medicine training, before he removes another bullet from my body. I'm not sure I can make it through another one of his games of operation."

"I see you haven't lost your sense of humor." Lucy added.

Wyatt looked up at Lucy from his hunched over position, their eyes meeting in the brightly lit corridor. "I don't have a sense of humor."

"My point exactly," Lucy confirmed while she guided Wyatt back up into a standing position. "Let me help you to the car."

"You have helped enough already."

Wyatt wanted to continue to protest, but before he could get another word out, Lucy tightened her grip on his waist and pulled him into her body, even closer than before. "Just lean on me, I've got you."

Wyatt could smell the scent of Lucy's perfume circling in the air, intoxicating and relaxing him. The lure of sleep tugging at his brain and lowering his inhibitions. "You are something else, Lucy Preston. First you try to kiss me and now your holding me tightly and offering to take me home. People are going to start to talk."

"You are delirious, Wyatt Logan." Lucy teased as she walked Wyatt towards the car. "I wouldn't say breathing air into your lungs through your mouth in order to save your life qualifies as kissing."

"Probably not, I'm just glad it was you that found me instead of Rufus." Wyatt shuddered at the thought. "Talk about office drama."

Lucy couldn't stop herself from laughing out loud at the comment. "We're almost there. Just a few steps more. Do you think you can make it?"

"I'm glad I made you laugh." Wyatt confessed with a hint of boyish charm. "You are pretty when you smile."

"Thank you Wyatt," Lucy added trying hard to keep him on his feet until they could reach the car. This was a different side of Wyatt, one that Lucy had never seen before. He was softer around the edges and a little less guarded; however, more than likely, it was due to exhaustion and possibly the residual medication.

"Okay, this is my car. Just hold on here a second while I find my keys." Lucy said fumbling through her purse.

"This is your car Lucy? I never pictured you as a SUV girl."

"It's a hybrid."

"Of course it is." Wyatt laughed.

"Hey, don't give Mr. Grey here a hard time."

"You named your car, Mr. Grey?" Wyatt pretended to be shocked. "Well that explains a lot about you, Lucy."

"Very funny, at least it's paid for." Lucy confessed, opening the door of the SUV for Wyatt to get in.

"I'm sorry." Wyatt apologized with a grin. "It's just too funny, fifty shades worth of funny. Seriously Lucy, you need to get out more."

"I'm glad you find this so amusing." Lucy said, this time opening the back door, placing Wyatt's backpack and her handbag in the seat behind him. She could hear him hissing as he tried to find a comfortable spot in the leather seat. "What's wrong?"

"I think I may have busted a stitch open."

"You think you did what?" Lucy asked, trying not to panic. "Let me see." Walking back towards to passenger seat, Lucy could easily see blood seeping out onto the expensive white button-down shirt. Trying to sound as calm as possible, she reported, "Your bleeding."

Wyatt opened his eyes slowly and pressed at the wound in his side, trying to focus, but losing the battle quickly. "I guess I am bleeding," Wyatt said, showing Lucy his blood stained fingers. "Do you think Mason will want this shirt back now?"

"Probably not. Just wait right here, while I go inside and get a doctor."

"No more doctors Lucy. Please just take me…" Wyatt stopped talking suddenly when he realized Lucy was buckling his seat belt. "Uh Lucy, what are you doing?"

"Buckling your seatbelt. You said no doctors, so I need to get you home quickly."

"I can see that, but you do know I can do it myself, right?" Wyatt said through slurred words and half open eyes, fatigue and pain threatening to consume him.

"Yes and I can buckle my seat belt by myself too, but that never stopped you from helping me in the lifeboat before." Lucy tried to joke.

"Funny," Wyatt agreed, his eyes just a sliver of blue now, his head dropping to his chest. "I'm just so tired, Jess."

Lucy stood there, unsure of what to say. "Just sleep; I've got you now."

To be continued...one more chapter to go! :)

 **A/N: Thank you to everyone for the favorites, follows and reviews. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. ~ Kiki**


	5. Chapter 5

**If You Only Knew- Chapter 5**

 **A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed and favorited this story. I appreciate every single one of them! Originally, this chapter was going to be the conclusion, but Lucy and Wyatt asked me to tell more of their story. How can you turn down a request like that? Anyway, enjoy this next chapter. ~Kiki**

Lucy exhaled with relief that she finally got Wyatt into the car without anything more than a busted stitch in his side. All she needed to do was get him home, patch him up and then head home herself and deal with her own problems. Opening the driver side door, Lucy was met with an unexpected angry stare from Wyatt. "What's wrong?"

"Did I just call you Jess?"

"It's okay; I'm not upset." How could Lucy not have considered this scenario? It was Wyatt and from what she knew of him so far, he did not do "vulnerable" well. He liked to be in control and clearly right now, she had the upper hand. Starting the car, she tried to reassure him with a smile and a "no worries."

"No, it's not okay." Wyatt laid his head back on the leather seat and closed his eyes, clearly embarrassed by his faux pas. "I'm so sorry Lucy, I'm just not thinking clearly right now and my head is pounding."

Lucy slowly reached over to run her fingers through his short dark hair and down the side of his face to comfort him in some way. Speaking with a slight quiver in her voice she said, "Don't beat yourself up, you've been through enough today."

Wyatt opened his eyes slightly and tried to focus on Lucy's supportive voice. He leaned into her touch, absorbing her warmth as she caressed his face. "You are a good person, Lucy Preston. I am lucky to have met you."

Lucy could feel sparks of electricity all over her body when his soft lips brushed over her forearm and wrist. The sudden intense feeling between the two of them scared her and she moved her hand back quickly to break the connection. He was a grieving widower and she had a fiancee that she hadn't even met yet. He was also compromised physically and mentally and by his own admission, "not thinking clearly."

"I'm sorry Lucy, I should not have done that."

Realizing that they both had got their signals crossed, Lucy tried to repair the damage quickly. "Wyatt, please hear me when I say, you did nothing wrong. I understand that Jess was a big part of your life and that she can never be replaced by me or anyone else. However, at some point you must choose to move forward and find happiness again; it is what Jess would want for you. Lucy leaned over to kiss his cheek softly, "You are not alone Master Sergeant Wyatt Logan. Lean on me; I've got you."

Wyatt was stunned by the way Lucy completely explained how he felt. It was as if she was put in his life for this very moment. "Why do I find this so difficult?"

Lucy looked puzzled by his response. "What do you find so difficult, the guilt of moving on?"

Wyatt nodded, but said nothing.

"Here's the bottom line," Lucy explained. "We can't expect others to forgive us, if we can't forgive ourselves first. But you also must be willing to take a risk."

Wyatt wasn't sure what had just happened or what kind of spell Lucy had cast over him, but he suddenly felt better than he had in years. The weight of the blame, the guilt and the shame around Jess was still there, but now he saw hope and a fresh start in Lucy's words and possibly even a second chance. She was right, he did need to forgive himself, and allow himself to move on, but the first step in that direction would be a phone call to Jess's parents. Settling further into the warm leather seat, Wyatt retreated into his own thoughts and finally into a restless sleep.

Lucy glanced over at the passenger seat after a few minutes of deafening silence. Wyatt's head was leaning against the car window with his lips parted slightly. A large patch of condensation was forming on the glass with each breath that left his mouth. "Hey, Wyatt? Are you still with me? How's the pain?" Lucy asked gently shaking the side of his shoulder.

"No," came the delayed reply. "I feel like I've been shot and then carved up."

"Ah, another Wyatt Logan witty comment. I almost forgot how much I missed them."

"Don't give me any grief, I'm just trying to hold it together, so I don't barf in your car." Wyatt let out a small laugh and then regretted it when his head began to ache again. "I've been thinking about the quote you told me about earlier, you know, the one about forgiveness; it really speaks to me. Did you make that up or did you read it somewhere?"

Lucy pulled up to a stop light and took a minute to relax. "I got that quote from inside a fortune cookie."

"Shut up, you can't be serious?"

"It's true," Lucy laughed deeply. "I was in graduate school and my roommates and I had gathered a large group of friends for one of those all night study sessions before finals. Long story short, we ordered takeout from this local family owned Chinese restaurant on campus." Lucy could almost feel her mouth watering as she continued to reminisce. "They had the best food especially after midnight."

"Please don't mention food."

"Sorry. Anyway, I remember emptying the containers onto the kitchen table and one of the fortune cookies rolled off the table and under the couch. I found it a few days later and opened it. I still carry the small paper fortune in my wallet. I think it's a good reminder of how to live." Lucy looked at Wyatt for some kind of reaction but she could tell he was a hundred miles away. Never one to quit, Lucy spoke up a little louder than intended to be sure and get his attention. "A penny for your thoughts Master Sergeant?"

Wyatt's voice was barely a whisper, exhaustion finally wining the tug of war to pull him under. "I was just thinking."

"Really, about what?"

Wyatt kept his eyes focused on the road ahead, "That I haven't really lived since Jess died."

Lucy turned towards him, looking surprised. "What aren't you telling me?"

"I'm responsible for her death and her parents blame me too. I haven't spoken to them since the day we buried her. I have terrible nightmares that alternate with bouts of insomnia resulting in heavy drinking to dull the pain. Do you remember the night we met and our first mission? You asked me if I had been drinking?"

Lucy could barely choke out the words, her heart crumbling into pieces. "I remember."

"I have tried to stay busy with the job. Most days stopping Flynn is all I can think about and somedays it's the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. But I know ultimately I can't let you and Rufus down, so I pull it together and come to work." Wyatt tried to hold back the tears that were falling freely now. "I have lost everyone I care about Lucy and I have no one. If you only knew..."

To be continued.


	6. Chapter 6

**If You Only Knew-** **Chapter 6**

 **A/N: Thank you again for the follows, favorites and reviews. The reviews were awesome and I appreciate the feedback! It's always nice to read that your work is enjoyed. :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Timeless or any of it's characters. If I did, we would for sure get a second season. Enjoy!**

"If you only knew..."

Lucy learned a long time ago, that sometimes it was better to listen than to speak. Bracing herself for whatever came next, she gently prodded Wyatt to open up. "Wyatt, please talk to me."

"I'm not sure this is the best idea. We work together and I learned long ago that you don't mix business and pleasure."

Lucy gently rubbed his knee, the feeling of the rough fabric creating some warmth and friction on his skin. "You can't do this alone."

Wyatt did not like to feel exposed and talk about "feelings," which in his mind, was the worst kind of exposure. He would rather stand in front of a crowded room naked than air his dirty laundry to a stranger. But, was Lucy really a stranger? Would she leave him too if she saw him the way he saw himself as a coward and a fraud?

Lucy's eyes looked at him intently, a cross between wanting and imploring. "Take a risk, Wyatt; please let me in."

Wyatt barely cracked a smile. "Remember you asked for this." He warned before taking a deep breath and steading himself. "Jess and I first met when we were both kids. It was my first day at a new school and I felt like an outcast from the minute I stepped through the door. I remember the stares and whispers when I showed up to class in clothes that didn't fit and shoes with holes in them." Wyatt turned a little in the seat towards Lucy to gage her reaction, ignoring the pressure and pulling of the stitches in his side.

Lucy could feel his eyes boring into her, looking for any kind of support. Reaching out to take his hand, she solidified her commitment to him with a soft, "I'm here."

"I don't remember the specifics of why Jess walked up to me that day. I think she may have felt sorry for the awkward, short kid with the baggy clothes and the really bad haircut sitting alone at lunch."

Lucy's heart fluttered slightly when she eyed him up and down. It was an automatic response, but an embarrassment all the same.

"I know that's probably shocking to you," Wyatt gestured to his body, "considering what you see here today."

Lucy knew she had been caught checking him out and tried to play it off. "That's terrible, kids can be so cruel."

Wyatt laughed in spite of the tears, sniffling slightly. "Maybe, but not Jess, she was so compassionate, especially for an eight year old. She came and sat down beside me and asked me my name. When I told her my name was "Wyatt Logan", she stuck her hand out and introduced herself as "Jessica Ann." She thought "Logan" was my middle name. I remember how she broke off a piece of her candy bar and asked me if I wanted some." Wyatt's voice choked up as he gazed out the front window, "Jess didn't care where I grew up or how much money I had, she just saw a lonely little boy who needed a friend. She was always there for me."

"She clearly saw something special in you that you are struggling to see in yourself right now. I know we haven't known each other for long, but what I do know about you is that you fight hard to protect the ones you care about."

"I'm done fighting." Wyatt said without a shred of emotion. "I'm here to do a job and that's all."

"You have me and Rufus." Lucy was livid and shouted abruptly, gripping the steering wheel a little harder than necessary. "Or are we just part of the 'job' too?" Lucy's voice was caught in a tidal wave of emotion. "Do we mean nothing to you?"

Wyatt was not shocked by Lucy's response. How could he have been so hurtful to someone who had been so helpful to him all day? Trying to apologize, Wyatt readied himself against the seatbelt as he again reached over towards Lucy. This time he put his hand on her dark blue jeans, catching the gaze of her dark brown eyes in his. Wyatt could feel the blood trickling down his waist and under his belt, when the seatbelt pierced further into his side. However, it didn't matter, the pain was inconsequential because the only thing that mattered now was Lucy. "I didn't mean for that to come out the way it sounded. Of course you and Rufus matter. I just can't afford to get involved again."

"You can't be responsible for everything and you sure as hell can't control everything."

"Lucy please understand that I can't allow myself to feel anything. Jess was an only child and the apple of her parents eyes. They never approved of our relationship. My in laws were genuinely good people, but were convinced that a kid who came from nothing, could not give their daughter the life she deserved. I proved over and over to them that I was worthy of their daughter's hand until the one night I didn't."

Lucy, clearly not sure if it was the right thing to do or not, spontaneously pulled the car over into the parking lot of a gas station. "Wyatt, please look at me."

"Seriously, I'm bleeding to death and you decide to stop for gas?"

"I didn't stop for gas; I stopped for you." Lucy took a deep breathe and started to speak softly from the bottom of her heart, her eyes tearing and eventually falling down her soft cheek. "I know you are hurting. You and Jess have a long history together and that kind of bond isn't broken easily, even in death. I'm sorry I said that her death was meant to be. I had no right."

Wyatt reached over and wiped the falling tear from her face with his thumb. "Don't be sad for me, my life hasn't been all bad, I met you didn't I?"

"Thank you." Lucy said blushing a bright shade of red. That spark she felt before when he kissed her wrist, was back with a vengeance. She had high hopes that they were on the edge of a breakthrough. Turning off the car, she sat back in her seat and said, "Tell me something else about Jess. I think anyone who finds you appealing, must have a great story."

"After we were married a few months, we bought a small two bedroom house just outside of Dallas. It was pretty much of a fixer upper, but it was ours." Wyatt smiled. "Jess woke me up early one morning and asked me come outside and watch the sun rise with her. She wasn't much of an early riser, but I thought it was sweet. So we grabbed a blanket and sat on the porch swing. As the sun was rising, she looked at me with her big blue eyes and started to open a chocolate bar, eventually breaking one piece into two smaller pieces." Wyatt's voice quivered again, "When she handed me the piece of chocolate, she talked about how it had been twenty years ago today that we had met. Since she's been gone, I haven't had a piece of chocolate since."

"Thank you for sharing that with me. Maybe something as small as a chocolate bar, could be your first step."

"I think my first step is to get home."

"Agreed, because honestly, I'm all out of inspirational words. I'm just going to go inside and grab a few items to patch you up. I'll be right back."

To Be Continued...


	7. Chapter 7

**If You Only Knew- Chapter 7**

 **A/N: Thanks again for the favorites, follows and reviews. I appreciate every one of them! :)**

 **I've got some POV switching in this chapter, which I hope is clear. All mistakes are mine.**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own them, never will.**

Lucy wasn't sure that leaving Wyatt, practically passed out cold, in the car was the best choice. He was pretty sick and needed a doctor, not a two dollar box of band aids and a bottle of ibuprofen from a roadside gas station. Why did he have to be so damn stubborn?

Upon entering the store, a young employee, with a name tag that read "Steve," greeted Lucy from his position behind the counter. He had only been on the job about three months, but had already earned the "Employee Of The Month" title and a bright red vest for exceptional service and attention to detail. "Hello, is there anything I can help you find?" Steve asked.

Lucy wasn't interested in responding right now; the thought of Wyatt in pain in her car was all she could focus on. She opened her mouth to try and speak, but Steve cut her off before she could get the first word out.

"Miss, are you okay? Do you need me to call someone?"

Lucy looked puzzled until she caught her reflection on the large security monitor that hung on the wall behind him. She had no idea that she looked this bad. Her hair was a mess and there was a little dark mascara streak trailing down one of her soft cheeks. No wonder Steve had questioned her, he probably thought she had some kind of personal issue or that she was under the influence of some heavy alcohol. Little did _he_ know what she had been through the last 10 hours. "Yes, I am fine…" Lucy eyed the rectangular name tag and followed with, "Steve." Trying to give him a warm smile, she finished with, "Where are your restrooms?"

"In the back corner on the left hand side."

"Thank you." Lucy said politely, pulling her hand bag higher on her shoulder. She would take a few minutes to clean herself up and pull it together; just 120 seconds of unadulterated peace and she would be back in business. Unfortunately, when she reached the isolation of the restroom, no peace came, just more tears. She was kidding herself.

Meanwhile, back at the car, Wyatt could feel the dampness from his sweat soaked shirt, creeping slowly into his skin. A renewed awareness of how shitty his situation was resurfaced in his mind. He slowly moved his hand to scratch at the drying blood that now trailed down his hip and below. Wyatt didn't think it was possible to be in so much pain. This was a hard pill to swallow because he was the strong, silent type who would rather ignore pain than admitt to being injured. He put his head back on the leather seat and closed his eyes, silently praying that Lucy would hurry.

Lucy pulled it together the best that she could after exiting the restroom. She felt a little calmer and more relaxed than she had even five minutes ago. However, it was hard not to rub her red rimmed eyes as the gravity of their situation took hold; Wyatt almost died today. Lucy could feel the bile begin to rise in her throat when the image of Wyatt laying on the bathroom floor came to mind. She felt paralyzed with fear and suddenly worried for his safety. Following her instincts, Lucy walked over to the storefront window and looked out into the parking lot. She could see Wyatt in the passenger seat with his head back against the headrest either sleeping or at least resting. Satisfied that he was okay for the moment, she continued shopping. What Lucy did not see was the tall, dark stranger approaching the car.

Wyatt had given up the fight and slipped into blissful unconsciousness for the second time today. He never had a clue about the danger that was lurking just inches away from where he slept. However, instead of hurting or attacking Wyatt, the figure just stood there quietly looking him over and assessing him through the glass like some kind of museum exhibit. The dark eyes of the stranger began to scan his body from top to bottom and came to rest on the large patch of red seeping into the material of the white button down shirt. Satisfied with Wyatt's level of incapacitation and inability to be a threat, the figure turned on his heel and headed towards the door of the gas station store.

Lucy was debating between ibuprofen and acetominophen when she heard Steve's voice again from the other side of the store. "Hello is there anything I can help you find?"

"No, I think I found what I am looking for." Lucy's heart skipped a beat, when she heard the voice. "Hello Lucy."

Slowly, Lucy turned around and came face to face with Garcia Flynn. "What are you doing here?"

"It's a funny story really." Flynn let out a gruff laugh, his stark white teeth in contrast to his dark intense eyes. "I was driving by and stopped to pick up a few things when lo and behold, who do I run into but you Lucy?" Flynn placed his arm up on the store shelf and rested it there as he continued to taunt her.

"You're a liar."

"Liar is such a strong word," Flynn commented, stepping a little closer towards Lucy than necessary. "Would it be better if I told you that I followed you?"

"Wyatt..." Lucy whispered under her breath, somehow hoping he would hear her.

"Speaking of Wyatt." Flynn said, his eyes wide, scrutinizing Lucy's every expression. "I saw him outside and he's not looking so good. It's a shame really, he is quite a handsome guy. Too bad he's still stuck on his dead wife." Lucy looked perplexed at that last comment. "Your words...not mine. I've got your journal, remember?"

"You're a monster."

"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?" Flynn stepped a little closer to Lucy, invading her personal space even further. Lucy almost gagged at the stench of stale coffee on his breath. "But you have no idea about all the great things that you and I are going to collaborate on...you'll see."

Lucy was trying very hard to stay calm, but was failing miserably. She thought of her mother and all the morals she instilled in Lucy and her sister Amy. The slogan, "Protect the past and save the future", was running through her head like a public service announcement. Unable to quiet the repetitive voice any longer she fired back, "Stay away from me!"

The altercation with Flynn drew something red into Lucy's peripheral vision followed by a slight cough. It was Steve showing a mixture of concern and alarm on his face. "Miss, is everything okay?" After her earlier appearance and the drama that was currently unfolding, Lucy wasn't surprised that he approached her. "Do you need me to call the police?" Steve asked, holding a cell phone in his shaking hand.

Flynn's eyes never left Lucy's as they continued their version of a good old fashioned standoff. "That won't be necessary; you see Lucy and I here are old friends." Flynn's voice trailed off slowly almost implying irritation with every syllable. "Even if she doesn't know it yet."

Looking down at the contents in Lucy's shopping basket, Flynn picked out a box of band aids and inspected it like he was choosing a diamond. A cocky smile crept over his face until it increased into a sinister grin. "I am determined to take down Rittenhouse and no one will get in my way."

With those words, Flynn dropped the box of band aids back into the basket and disappeared out the door.

To Be Continued…


	8. Chapter 8

**If You Only Knew- Chapter 8**

Lucy was still in shock over what had just happened. Garcia Flynn was literally right in front of her for the second time today, rambling on again about Rittenhouse and her part in all of it. He sounded delusional and unbalanced, but desperate too. Would that desperation be the start of their work together and how did her so called "journal" fit into any of it? There were certainly more questions than answers at this point, but Wyatt was the top priority. In the moment, Lucy decided it was best to keep her conversations with Flynn private until she could do a little more investigating into his motives and the journal.

"Excuse me Miss," Steve interrupted and motioned for her to join him up by the front windows. "I think he is gone now."

Lucy breathed a sigh of relief when she walked towards the front of the store and looked out the dirty glass window. She could see Wyatt just as she left him, sleeping in the front seat of her car unaware of what had just taken place. He would be furious to know that Flynn had stalked the both of them and how he was completely helpless to stop it. Lucy started to bite at her lip nervously and shifted the shopping basket from one hand to the other.

Steve looked over Lucy's shoulder, "Is that man in your car alright?"

"No... I mean yes." Lucy answered with a slight hesitation, looking down into the basket with all the first aid supplies. "It's been a very long day."

"I bet it was." Steve commented while taking the basket from Lucy's hands. He looked a little shocked at how many first aid supplies she was purchasing.

"I'm very sorry if I caused you any trouble today."

Steve's eyes grew as large as saucers and a huge grin washed over his face. "It wasn't any trouble, it's part of my job."

" _It wasn't any trouble, it's part of my job_ ," would have been something Wyatt would have said. Lucy was really starting to realize just how much he was becoming a part of her life. "Can you include this too?" Lucy cracked a shy smile when she threw a single chocolate bar into her shopping basket.

Wyatt didn't have the luxury of any "sick days" with the Mason Industries job. It was "results oriented" and he couldn't produce "results" if he wasn't at work. Therefore, when he woke up with body aches and chills, his first thought was to the team and their next mission. Trying to sit up and stretch out his back to alleviate some of the stiffness, he was greeted with a concerned look from Lucy standing outside the passenger door. He didn't even realize she had opened it.

"Hi, how are you feeling?"

Wyatt could feel Lucy's hand on his forehead and tried to back out of her touch. "I will live; I'm just so cold. There's a jacket in my back pack, can you get it for me?"

"Sure." Lucy opened the door to the backseat and pulled the olive colored jacket out of Wyatt's backpack. She recognized it immediately; he was wearing it the first night they met. However, before she could hand the jacket to him a small picture fell out of the interior pocket and onto the ground. Lucy picked it up and scrutinized it closely. It was a candid shot of Wyatt and a woman Lucy had never seen before. The picture was worn around the edges and it was folded into thirds. Wyatt looked a little younger and way more carefree, as he kissed a beautiful blond woman next to him on the cheek. That woman was more than likely Wyatt's deceased wife, Jessica.

"Your quiet back there, did you find the jacket?"

Lucy didn't hear Wyatt, the only sound she heard was her heart beating rapidly in her chest when she turned the picture over in her hand. In tiny print on the bottom right hand corner, barely visible to the naked eye, were the words "Jessica and Wyatt, 2011." She stood there for a minute just processing what Wyatt must have gone through when Jessica died. She was struggling with her own sense of loss in regards to her sister Amy. Placing the picture back in the breast coat pocket as if nothing happened, Lucy shut the passenger door.

Switching gears, Lucy came back around to the passengers seat to hand Wyatt his jacket. She could see the white fabric of the button down sticking to his pale, clammy skin.

"What took you so long?" This time his voice was more of a whisper.

"I grabbed my cell phone." Lucy could hear her inner voice chanting, " _liar, liar, pants on fire",_ when she unbuckled his seatbelt. "You have sweat through your shirt and I can also see you shivering."

Wyatt looked down at his torso, the pain in his neck and back shooting up to his spine in the process. The grimace on his face was not lost on Lucy. "I'm okay, please just take me home."

"I'm sorry Wyatt, I think it's time to call for help."

"You _are_ my help Lucy. Either take me home or I will walk, it's your choice."

"Why do you have to be so stubborn? I'm in way over my head here." Lucy explained while unbuttoning his shirt, hoping to alleviate the dampness next to his skin. "This is more than a few band aids worth of patching up."

Wyatt was on the verge of vomiting, but still managed to plead his case. "What are you going to tell the paramedics about the hole in my side? Are you going to tell them we time traveled to 1865 and that I was shot by a crazed man trying to change history? You do know that by law, hospitals are required to report gun shot wounds to the local authorities." Wyatt paused and calmed down slightly. "Lucy…please understand, that putting myself in harms way, is part of my job. If you call an ambulance we will expose Mason Industries and their little "side project" and you will have no chance of getting Amy back."

Lucy understood, but it didn't make it any easier to watch him suffer needlessly.

"Please just take me home. You will be amazed at what a hot shower can do. Now help me get this shirt off."

 **A/N: I hope you enjoyed the latest** **chapter.~Kiki**


	9. Chapter 9

**If You Only Knew- Chapter 9**

It took a long time for Lucy to be able to breathe again. Between Flynn's sudden appearance at the gas station and Wyatt bleeding out in her car, she wasn't sure who was the biggest priority right now. Deciding on Flynn, Lucy tried to stifle her uneasiness about his current whereabouts. Adjusting the rearview mirror again, she continued to check the traffic behind them, making sure they were not followed. This could be a disaster in the making if Flynn tried to get the upper hand on them with Wyatt so badly injured.

"You look worried."

"…What?" Lucy asked, taking in Wyatt's appearance for the umpteenth time today. He was pale, sweaty and leaning heavily into the seatbelt, which looked like the only thing that was keeping him upright. "I would say it's more concern than worry."

Wyatt pulled the edges of his open jacket tightly together, trying to ward off the cold against the bare and damp skin underneath. "Talk to me Lucy," he asked speaking to her rational side. "but if your concern is about me, then no worries; I feel fine."

This was the opening Lucy was waiting for. She turned the words over in her head, debating on what to admit or omit about her run in with Flynn and their safety. Lucy was never one to overreact and was usually calm about most situations, but she had to be vigilant right now; she owed him that much. After a little consideration she took a few deep breaths and settled on, "You should really be in a hospital."

Wyatt tiredly turned his head towards Lucy, trying to reassure her by giving her his trademark smirk. "You are right, I probably should be in a hospital, but I appreciate that you did what I asked. Thank you for trusting me."

Five minutes later…

Wyatt was dead on his feet by the time they stumbled into his apartment. His steps became increasingly unsteady as Lucy held him by the waist and guided him towards the bedroom. As they moved across the room, Lucy could feel Wyatt's weight shift against her as he struggled to remain upright.

"I thought you said you felt fine?"

Wyatt breathed out a little chuckle and crooked smile lit his face. "Well I lied… This hurts like hell. Wait until I see Flynn again, that bastard's a dead man."

"I know Wyatt, we will take care of him," Lucy said to appease him, feeling a rush of uncomfortable guilt about keeping her talks with Flynn a secret. "But first, let me take care of you."

Lucy sat down on the bed and helped Wyatt to stretch out by placing a pillow under his head. She didn't take the time to help him ease out of his jacket before she guided him slowly towards the mattress. Dried blood and several purple colored bruises littered Wyatt's torso as the cotton fabric of the jacket fell away exposing his bare skin. Lucy tried not to gasp, but lost the battle quickly. This was her first good look at Wyatt's chest since she found him collapsed on the bathroom floor back at Mason Industries.

Wyatt heard Lucy's distressed sound and tried to lift his head to look at his naked midsection, but the pain shooting up his neck was too much. Dropping his head back on the pillow, he tried to make light of the situation by talking through fast and harsh breaths. "That good, huh?"

"Just relax," Lucy said removing her sweater. "I need to check the bullet wound."

Wyatt sighed softly, allowing his eyes to shut resignedly before nodding in understanding. He just wanted to get this over with.

Lucy gently pulled back the edges of the tape that kept the gauze pad over Wyatt's wound. She could hear Wyatt hiss and felt him move weakly when she tried to remove the large square bandage from his hip. The fibers from the gauze pad clung to the wound in the dried blood and it was pretty obvious that the removal was going to be painful. Lucy touched Wyatt's thigh softly, "I am going to need to get some water to remove this."

Wyatt nodded slowly, tightening his grip on the comforter underneath him as the pain continued to beat in conjunction with his heart. "Just hurry."

After what seemed like forever to Wyatt, Lucy finally appeared next to him with a bowl of hot water and a few wash cloths. "Are you doing okay?"

"Peachy."

Ah, there was the Wyatt that Lucy was growing to know and love. Ringing out the water from the wash cloth, she said "I'll try to be quick." In absolute silence, Lucy began to thoroughly but gently clean the dried blood that covered the right side of Wyatt's abdomen and hip. He moaned weakly as his eyes shut tightly when the rough fabric touched his pale skin. After a few minutes, Lucy was satisfied that she could remove the gauze pad without further injury and began to pull at the edge.

"Son of a bitch!"

"I'm so sorry…" Lucy whispered to him, running her hand up and down the fabric covering his thigh, trying to calm him, "I'm almost done." With trembling fingers, Lucy pulled the last piece of gauze free from Wyatt's abdomen exposing the stitches. Feeling relieved but completely spent, she sat down on the floor next to the bed and held her head in her hands as the tears started to fall freely.

Wyatt's death grip on the comforter lessened when the last piece of the gauze was finally removed. The fatigue, the pain, the cool air on his skin was all too much when his senses finally came back into focus. He felt completely disconnected from his body, like he was floating over the bed. Tears welled up behind his eyes and he squeezed them shut, unable to do much of anything else, until he heard soft sobs…it was Lucy. Like a beacon in the night, Wyatt searched for where the sound was coming from. He quickly realized that she was sitting next to him on the floor of his bedroom. Placing his hand over the side of the bed, he found the top of her head and ran his fingers down her long brown hair. Pulling together enough energy to form a sentence, he whispered faintly, "Thank you."

Lucy didn't respond but the cries became a little more noticeable as the seconds ticked away. Her shoulders heaved, pressing hard against the mattress when she finally realized that she had to pull it together. Wiping the tears from her eyes she stood up next to the bed overlooking Wyatt's still form. He looked very ashen and pale and the dark circles under his eyes were more prominent now. His chest rose and fell with short breaths as the pain of the earlier ministrations were etched across his face. Lucy studied the criss cross pattern of the sutures along the side of his hip and swallowed hard to avoid losing what she had in her stomach. Quickly composing herself, she turned back to comforting her new patient and said, "I'm going to rewash my hands and then I will redress this."

Wyatt reached out to take Lucy by the elbow, his eyes reaching into her soul. "It's been a long time since anyone has taken care of me. But, I know this makes you uncomfortable so I can take it from here."

Lucy sat down next to him on the edge of the bed and placed her hand on his chest, offering comfort. "I am exactly where I want to be."

TBC…

 **A/N: Thanks** **again to everyone! I hope you enjoyed! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**If You Only Knew- Chapter 10**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Timeless or any of it's characters.** **:)**

Lucy stood by the window in Wyatt's bedroom and looked out into the dusky evening. The past hour had been rough, but she managed to get Wyatt patched up and back into bed without much trouble. He had been out of it for most of the treatment, teetering in and out of consciousness. Only within the past fifteen minutes did Lucy's hands stop shaking from the stress and anxiety of the whole procedure. She looked over at his sleeping form on the bed, his breathing coming in steady and even waves. He looked so peaceful and so much younger than his actual age, when he was completely relaxed. Wyatt was truly handsome, smart and athletic and she decided right there and then, that it would be very easy to fall in love with him.

Lucy turned back towards the window again and rested her forehead on the cool glass. There was still quite a bit of traffic on the street outside of Wyatt's building. It was way after rush hour, but there were a few people still out and about on the sidewalk. She smiled when she saw a young couple walking a dog and even a few people running under the bright street lamps with their fluorescent vests in full view. Lucy continued to scan the area with her tired eyes, landing on the headlights from the moving cars. Everything seemed to be so dramatic when the beams from the headlights danced up and down on the roadway, capturing Lucy in their hypnotic rhythm.

She could feel herself leaning further into the clear pane of glass, and felt powerless to stop her descent. Opening her eyes at the last minute, she glanced towards the street light on the corner. There was a man standing under the light who was not there just minutes ago. Lucy tried to get a better look at the tall, thin silhouette, but she couldn't make out who it might be. She started to panic and tried to run, but her legs wouldn't move. She tried to call out to anyone who would listen, but she had no voice. Suddenly Garcia Flynn was standing right beside her, his reflection staring back at her from the single plate of window glass in Wyatt's apartment. Lucy could feel his warm breath on her neck as his lips traveled towards her ear stopping long enough to tease, " _We are going to do great things together."_

Lucy jumped at the sound of her phone ringing, snapping her out of her nightmare. She had forgot that she had turned the volume back up. "Hello," she answered with a start as her heart beat like a race horse.

"Lucy?" Rufus sounded relieved and then concerned when Lucy's voice came across the phone in a high pitch. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," Lucy yawned into the phone to disguise her rapid breathing. "I'm just tired."

"How's Wyatt?"

Lucy glanced over at Wyatt noting the damp sheen of sweat across his face that wasn't there earlier. "He's sleeping now."

"You didn't answer the question…"

"He's a little warm," Lucy added while filling a fresh bowl of cool water. "I'm pretty sure he has a low grade fever."

"And?"

"I'm just worried, I think he should be back at Mason Industries under the care of a professional," Lucy confessed.

"Did you explain that to him?"

"Of course I did, but you know Wyatt."

"That I do," Rufus agreed. "Do you need anything?"

"I stopped on the way here and picked up a few things. We should be good now." Lucy thoughts immediately went back to running into Flynn earlier in the day at the convenient store. He was never far from her mind and he was even starting to invade her dreams. Before her thoughts could begin to spiral out of control she walked towards Wyatt with the bowl of water. As she approached the bed, she could see him starting to move under the covers. "Rufus, I think Wyatt is starting to wake up now. I have to go."

"I'm right here if you need anything," Rufus assured. "I can be there in 15 minutes."

"Thanks." Lucy said ending the call before sliding the phone into the back pocket of her jeans. The feel of her phone in her hand reminded Lucy that she should return her mother's numerous calls and texts that she had left earlier. However with Wyatt so close to waking, returning calls would have to wait until later. Picking up the plastic bowl, she sat down next to Wyatt on the edge of the bed and started to wring out a wet washcloth.

Wyatt awoke slowly to the sound of Lucy's voice, first at a distance and then closer. He could not make out exactly what she was saying as the words were muddled and unclear. After several attempts to open his heavy laden eyes he finally found success and saw Lucy at his side. "Lucy...?"

"Hey there," she soothed. "Welcome back; how are you feeling?"

Wyatt let out a shaky breath, his fingers grasping at the comforter that was currently tucked around him like a makeshift cocoon. "Like shit…what happened?"

"You were shot by Flynn, do you remember?"

Wyatt tried to process what Lucy was saying, eventually recalling the events of the day. "Yes, I remember," he answered sluggishly. "Where is Flynn now?"

"The last update is that he is still in the present," Lucy explained briefly. "Mason Industries has not called on us since we came back from 1865."

Wyatt tried to sit up, but couldn't complete the task when the pressure of a large bandage began to tug at the raw skin on his abdomen, causing his eyes to water and his breathing to hitch. "I have to find that son of a bitch."

"Deep breaths…." Lucy tried to coax him with her reassuring voice, assisting him to lay back down against the soft mattress. She could feel his heart racing under the hand that was now resting on his clammy chest. "You need to rest. You will not be any good to us if you don't give your body a chance to heal."

"I need to be ready when Mason or Agent Christopher calls. I won't be caught flat on my back." Wyatt extended his hand towards Lucy as if it were a lifeline. "Please help me up."

"This goes against my better judgement." Lucy said quickly removing the comforter from around Wyatt, exposing his warm body to the sudden rush of cool air. Trying to position herself to help him up and into a seated position, she never noticed the odd look on his face.

"Lucy, where are my clothes?"

"Your clothes are in the bathroom." Lucy answered matter of fact and slightly naive.

Wyatt looked at her, giving her a smirk as if she was up to no good.

"Why are you looking at me like that? You were sweating and I undressed you to get your fever down." Lucy immediately went into a teaching mode, describing each step of his disrobing like a power point presentation in front of a group. Finally finishing up with a deep breath and a ..."You were covered in mud and still wearing the pants from the Civil War uniform. Do you want mud in your bed?"

Wyatt knew exactly how to push her buttons. He was imagining Lucy blushing as she took each article of clothing off of his motionless body. From what he could gather in the small amount of time that he knew her, was that she wasn't the most experienced when it came to men. However, he was pretty certain when her mom was sick, she probably did her fair share of care giving.

"I undressed you because that's what was needed," Lucy was clearly flustered and her face flushed bright pink. Wyatt noted the intense color made her more strikingly beautiful than normal.

"Uh..huh," he added with a grin.

"Don't flatter yourself Master Sergeant."

Wyatt was enjoying the playful banter and continued to egg her on with one word responses. "Okay..."

"You act like I stole your virtue." Lucy's high pitched voice was radiating with frustration.

"Maybe..."

Lucy sat back down next to him on the bed and cradled her head in her hands, covering her eyes. "I am so embarrassed... please say something more than a single word…"

TBC...


	11. Chapter 11

**If You Only Knew- Chapter 11**

 **A/N: I never intended to go this long between updates! Since it has been a few weeks, I included a few sentences from the last chapter as a catch up. Thanks to all for reviewing, favoriting, following and reading! I hope you like this next chapter.**

 **Standard disclaimers apply... All mistakes are mine. ~Kiki**

 _Previously: Lucy sat back down next to him on the bed and cradled her head in her hands, covering her eyes. "I am so_ _embarrassed...please say something more than a single word.."_

"Thanks for leaving my boxers on."

Lucy pulled her hands away from her face and gave him a look that could be summed up simply as, _"You can't be serious."_

"You could have at least bought me dinner first."

Lucy shook her head. "You are insufferable."

"It's a gift," Wyatt admitted with a groan as he tried to push himself up on his elbows. "What time is it?"

Lucy took the phone out of her back pocket to check the time, thankfully, there were no further texts or calls from her mother. "It's a little past 8:00," she said placing it on Wyatt's nightstand.

"Why does it feel later than that?" Wyatt offered his outstretched hand to Lucy. "Can you help me up?"

Lucy's voice faded in and out of Wyatt's ears as he was being helped to sit upright. Between the pain in his side and the hammering going on in his head, he could feel his stomach trying to start a revolt. Somewhere in the distance, Wyatt was sure he heard Lucy say, "I think it may have something to do with time travel, or because it's getting dark outside."

"Are you okay?" Lucy asked, after placing her hand on his forehead. "Your still a little warm."

"I'll live, but I feel nauseous and my chest looks like a road map."

"It doesn't look so bad." Lucy said, as her hand traveled from his forehead, towards his chest, stopping to hover there for a few seconds. "How's the pain?"

"It's manageable."

"May I?" Lucy asked before touching his bare skin.

This was very unexpected, but acceptable. "Okay...just go easy."

"Tell me if this hurts."

Wyatt never even considered the possibility.

Lucy started by positioning her hand gently over his heart. His skin was clammy and slick, but his heartbeat was strong under her fingertips. She could feel the muscles in his abdomen clench and his shoulders tighten under her delicate touch. Wyatt inhaled roughly, when her fingers slowly began to trace across his chest towards his sternum, never touching any bruises along the way. His heart started to beat faster when she rested her hand in the middle of his chest. For several minutes, she just watched his chest rise and fall in conjunction with his breathing. The moment was tranquil and intimate when Lucy placed her ear over his heart, just listening to the soft thumping. She could feel Wyatt kiss the crown of her head sweetly as he pulled her into a warm embrace.

As if on cue, Lucy's phone began to ring, rumbling and jumping around on the top of Wyatt's nightstand. The noise startled both of them and Lucy immediately pulled her head off of Wyatt's chest.

"Saved by the bell... literally." Wyatt muttered. His brow furrowed as he glanced at Lucy.

"I should really answer that in case it's Mason Industries," Lucy said reaching for the phone and sighing when she realized who was calling. "It's Rufus."

"Go ahead and take it," Wyatt said running his fingers through his sticky hair. "I'm going to get in the shower"

"Wait for me, I'll be right back." Lucy said before leaving the room.

Wyatt, as impatient as always, swung his legs over the side of the bed, closing his eyes when his body protested at the movement. He hadn't felt this achy since the last time he had the flu and that was certainly no picnic. Without any further hesitation, he willed himself to stand up, praying he wouldn't end up on his knees in front of Lucy.

"I asked you to wait," Lucy said, taking him by the elbow for support.

"What did Rufus have to say? Did he mention anything about Flynn?"

Feeling the weight of Wyatt against her hip she answered, "He called to see how you were doing and no, he didn't mention anything about Flynn or Mason Industries."

"There's a piece of good news." Wyatt said moving abnormally slow towards the bathroom with Lucy in tow. "I'm just not sure at this point, how much I trust Connor Mason."

"I thought he was one of the good guys."

"Lucy," Wyatt said, turning on the bathroom light as they both stood in the doorway. "I learned a long time ago, that people are not always who they appear to be."

"Kind of like you..."

"What?" Wyatt laughed lighthearted. "Did you just compare me to that uptight, ass hat, Mason?"

"No, of course not. That's not what I meant."

"Then what exactly did you mean?"

"You are very confident and strong on the outside, but you are are anything but that on the inside. Guilt and regret are your constant companions; they drive your decisions and keep you from moving forward."

Wyatt said nothing, but his body tensed.

Lucy realized that she may have stepped over the line. "I didn't mean to offend you Wyatt," Lucy assured. "It's just an observation."

"You didn't offend me." Wyatt offered, before quickly turning the faucet in the shower on. "You don't know anything about me."

Lucy reached around him and turned the water off. "I have an idea," she said sharply.

"Really? Do tell, Professor."

"I saw the picture of you and Jess in your jacket."

"Great..." Wyatt said, raising his voice to match Lucy's. "and you know this how?"

"It fell out of your pocket earlier today. I wasn't trying to pry."

"I don't owe you or anyone else and explanation for what I do." Wyatt said forcefully, turning the water back on and checking the temperature with his hand. "Can I get some privacy please?"

Lucy shook her head without further explanation.

"Fine then, have it your way." Wyatt replied as he stepped into the tub, pulling the shower curtain closed behind him. Throwing his wet boxers over the top of the shower, he yelled, "Whose insufferable now?"

Lucy, never one to be out done, pulled the shower curtain back open, revealing Wyatt in his birthday suit. "Stop torturing yourself!"

"Lucy, what the hell?" Wyatt exclaimed pulling the curtain up against his body. "I'm not torturing myself."

"Yes, you are!" Lucy rasped, sounding like it was an understatement.

"Why, because I can't let go of Jessica?"

"No, it's because you _choose_ not to let go of Jessica!"

Wyatt felt momentarily stunned as if Lucy had slapped him. Whoever coined the phrase "the truth hurts" wasn't kidding.

Lucy could see the pain etched into Wyatt's face. "I'm so sorry Wyatt, that was out of line."

Wyatt never moved a single muscle even when the water from the shower spray collected on the tile floor creating a pool at Lucy's feet. The pain etched into his face just seconds ago, morphed quickly into anger. His eyes radiated with intensity as the water continued to cascade over his strong, muscular body.

Lucy could feel an adrenaline rush and decided the best plan of action was to leave. "I should probably go." However, as she turned to walk out of the bathroom, she heard the water being shut off followed by Wyatt's voice which was ironically a lot softer than a few seconds ago.

"They hate me."

Lucy turned towards the familiar voice, "Who hates you?"

"Jessica's parents."

"I'm sure your exaggerating."

"I'm not so sure," Wyatt focused on the wall ahead, avoiding Lucy's eyes. "The night I found out Jessica was dead," Wyatt's voice sounded distant. "I called them after a few too many drinks."

"And..."

"Let's just say the conversation turned ugly." Wyatt shivered as the warmth and steam from the shower started to dissipate. "More regrets on my part, I guess."

"Wyatt," Lucy said, gently caressing his damp arm. "Living in the past, doesn't allow you to move forward."

"Oh my god, If you say "When one door closes another one opens," I swear I am going to lose it."

"I was not going to say that," Lucy assured with a smile. "But I will say when the door does open, you have to choose to walk through it."

In the soft light of the bathroom, Wyatt could faintly see the dark smudges under Lucy's eyes. She looked more pale than normal and exhaustion clouded her dark eyes. Pushing a loose piece of hair behind her ear, he whispered, "Thank you, I'll take that under advisement, Ma'am."

"Good, it's about damn time." Lucy smiled affectionately taking the door knob into her hand. "I"ll be right outside if you need me and Wyatt..."

"Yes Lucy?"

"Nice ass."

"Unbelievable." Wyatt whispered, as he watched Lucy step out of the bathroom, leaving the door cracked as she left.

TBC- One more chapter to go!


	12. Chapter 12

**If You Only Knew- Chapter 12**

 **Standard disclaimers apply... All mistakes are mine.**

The sound of running water filled the room as Lucy stood outside the bathroom door, resting her head on the doorframe. She was absolutely exhausted and clearly her behavior from earlier was a direct result of said exhaustion. "Nice ass?" Lucy couldn't believe those words had left her mouth, it was so inappropriate and so out of character for her. Truth be told, she was embarrassed and thought about leaving, but she was so tired and spent that she wasn't sure she had the energy. So instead of walking away, she slowly slid down the wall and closed her eyes until she felt the wood floor underneath her.

Wyatt closed his eyes and leaned into the shower spray hoping that the hot water would help to ease the throbbing in his abdomen. Pain and fatigue were not unfamiliar feelings to him, but being shot was. He pressed and probed at the square bandage covering his wound eliciting a hiss. He winced when the pain intensified. However, no amount of pain could compare to the concern around what would happen if Flynn decided to take the mothership out. Who would protect the team, and more importantly, who would protect Lucy? Sighing, Wyatt ran one hand through his wet hair and then shut off the water, deciding that it was better not to obsess on the mission right now and just focus on healing. Wyatt pulled a towel around his waist and tried to hide his vulnerability as he stepped out of the shower. However, it was to no avail when he opened the bathroom door and saw his vulnerability staring back at him.

Leaning down, Wyatt spoke softly, "Lucy, why are you sitting on the floor?"

Lucy was startled awake by the sound of Wyatt's voice. She opened her eyes to see him kneeling in front of her wearing nothing but a towel slung low across his hips. He was still damp from the shower and his hair was sticking out in several places. "Nice outfit," Lucy said with a yawn.

"Very funny, " Wyatt reached for her and started to help Lucy to her feet. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you."

"Easy," Wyatt instructed, grasping Lucy a little tighter around the waist when she started to sway. "Are you sure your okay?"

"Really Wyatt, I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine." Wyatt knew from experience that when a woman says she is fine, she is nowhere near being fine.

''I'm not so sure about that," Wyatt pointed out, catching her before she hit the ground.

"Thanks," Lucy said, shifting slightly to face him, the scent of soap and clean laundry in the air. "Maybe I'm a little more tired than I let on, but I really should be going."

Wyatt's gaze was intent as he looked her over. "You are in no condition to drive."

"Maybe not, but my mom has been leaving messages and texts all day," Letting go of Wyatt's hand, she sat down on the soft mattress and slowly shimmied until her back was against the headboard. "She didn't follow up on me like that when I was a teenager."

Wyatt shot her a look of doubt as he removed her shoes and placed them on the floor next to the bed.

"It's true," Lucy laughed loudly. "You never grew up as the daughter of Professor Carol Preston. She was very respected in the academic community and sometimes I wondered if work didn't take precedence over her family." Her voiced turned suddenly somber, "But at least I had Amy."

"What is different now besides Amy being gone?"

"This new version of my mother seems…," Lucy paused briefly. "She seems more invested."

Wyatt absorbed all this new information while he leaned against the tall dresser behind him. "Then why don't you call her?"

"Honestly, I'm too tired to get into where I've been; why I leave suddenly; and why I can't talk about what I do," Lucy explained throwing her hands in the air. "I've been dodging her for days now."

A kind of tense stillness settled over the room. "Clearly this is upsetting you," Wyatt said opening his dresser drawers to gather a pair of boxers and pajama pants. "I will get dressed and then I will take you home."

"You"re in no condition to drive either," Lucy parroted defensively back to Wyatt. "Isn't your car back in the parking lot at Mason Industries anyway?"

"You"re right it is. Let me call you a cab then," he suggested.

"Isn't how this whole thing started?"

"To what " _thing_ " are you referring to?" Wyatt asked a little flirtatiously, knowing full well what Lucy was talking about.

"Taking you home," Lucy said naively.

"Well then," Wyatt winked picking up on her inexperience again. "You could just stay here tonight."

Lucy's mouth fell open and she almost choked on the words. "With you?"

"Yes with me," Wyatt laughed out loud. "Do you see anyone else in this room?"

There was a long drawn out pause.

Deciding to ignore the obviously unintended invitation Wyatt clarified the offer. "I'm not talking about sex Lucy, just helping out a friend."

Maybe that would be a relief.

"Oh, I know that." Lucy began to blush and a twinge of nerves crept into the pit of her stomach. "It's just that…"

"Should I take that as a 'no'?"

"Wyatt, we work together and I wouldn't want anything to be awkward between us."

"Lucy," Wyatt hesitated, after kneeling down by the side of the bed, closing the gap between them. "I understand and I agree with you, but recognize that after everything we have been through today and the fact that I am wearing nothing but a towel and a smile right now. I think it is safe to say that we are way past awkward."

Lucy smiled genuinely and shifted to lay flat on his bed. Trying to talk through a yawn, she replied with what sounded like, "Agreed."

"Just rest," Wyatt spoke softly, running his fingers through her soft, dark hair. "I'll be right back."

Lucy nodded and then slowly rolled over and reached for Wyatt's pillow. Inhaling deeply, she snuggled the soft rectangle towards her chest and held it tightly, taking in the comfort that it offered.

Quickly changing and returning from the bathroom, Wyatt's breath caught when he saw Lucy asleep in his bed. She looked so peaceful and beautiful with her hand resting underneath her cheek. Not wanting to disturb her, Wyatt grabbed a pillow off the bed, turned off the bedside light and finally walked towards the door. He was stopped by a sleep deprived, but nevertheless, angelic voice. "Wyatt, stay with me." Taking a deep breath, Wyatt turned around and carefully climbed into bed. Once he positioned himself comfortably next to Lucy, Lucy moved her body to be snug next to his and placed her head over his beating heart.

Wyatt, appreciating the comfort Lucy provided, held her close. "I never thanked you for taking care of me today."

"It was my pleasure," Lucy whispered into the darkness.

"I hope you understand that you did more for me than anyone has done in a long time and I'm not only talking about my injury." He squeezed her a little tighter. "You helped me to remember that I am not damaged and worthy of second chances and more importantly," Wyatt swallowed hard. "I am not alone."

Silence.

"Lucy?" he breathed. "Are you still awake?"

More silence.

Wyatt gave the slightest shake of his head when he heard Lucy roll over and begin to snore softly. "She never heard a thing."

The next morning Wyatt woke up to an empty spot beside him in the bed. At some point, Lucy had left, and Wyatt never heard her leave. Sitting up, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked around the room. There was no evidence of anything that had gone on the day before, no bandage wrappers or water glasses, gauze or tape. What he did notice, however, was a chocolate candy bar and a note on the bedside table with the words _"Read Me"_ printed on them.

Slowly opening the neatly folded paper, Wyatt began to read the message from Lucy:

 _Wyatt,_

 _You are not damaged and always worthy of a second chance. I believe in you and you are certainly not alone. Please accept this chocolate bar and start living again (and yes, I will share it with you if you would like me to). Life's too short to carry guilt and regret, hopefully a gunshot in the gut reminded you of that._

 _~Lucy_

Wyatt closed the letter with a new sense of purpose. He grabbed his cell phone and began to dial Jessica's parents.

"Hello." A familiar voice from his past answered.

"Hi, it's me Wyatt. I know it has been a while, but I wanted to call and..."

 **A/N: And that's a wrap! I hope you enjoyed the story and thank you for all the support and awesome reviews! You all are the best! ~Kiki**


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